A lot of people get handed a jello shot and then end up struggling with it, trying to get out all of its jiggly goodness. They end up grunting at it, poking at it, crying a bit, and then finally seeking the help of utensils. With the aid of the following helpful jello methods, the other partygoers will gawk at you in total envy, as you slurp it out like a Jello Shot Master!
- Safety Spoon (Coolness Rating 2)
If you are a little self-conscious about looking silly or you just got a brand new white t-shirt, you could use a spoon. No mess, no fuss, but a little on the wimpy side.
- The Substitute (Coolness Rating 5)
With this one, you use something like a toothpick, pretzel stick, or table knife to slide along the inside wall of the shot between the jello and the container. Then you move it around the entire outer wall until the jello is dislodged. Now, just squeeze the shot lightly and slurp the shot into your mouth. Congratulations. You still didn’t make a mess, and you are cooler than the Spoon People.
- Caveman (Coolness Rating 8)
This is a fun method for those of you who don’t want to bother with all of that silly technique. To do it, all you have to do is immediately rip the container open and devour your jello shot. This is, of course, as long as the container permits. Perfect for people that believe getting sticky is fun. The Substitutes roll their eyes, while the Spoon People totally look up to you. Very cool.
- The Friendly (Coolness Rating 9)
This is where you just stick your finger right in between the jello and the container, and run it along the inside walls to loosen up the shot. Then tilt it back and suck it down! Like the Cavemen, you don’t mind getting messy. Hell, you love it! The Spoon People are in complete awe, and the Substitutes are just doing what you are doing, but the sissified way. After you do your shot, you suck the jello off of your finger in a victory celebration!
- Jellatio (Coolness Rating 10)
This is the very ultimate procedure for shooting back jello shots. We call it, Jellatio. I’m sure you can figure out why. First, you ring your tongue around the inside wall of the container to disconnect the jello. This will make it way easier for you to get it out of there. Then you slide your tongue under the gelatin and suck it down! Pretty accurate name, huh? Yes, in conquering this particular method of jello shooting, not only do you not make a mess, but it is the only fool-proof, one-handed method. The Spoon People, Substitutes, Cavemen, and Friendlies will all be practicing your method, hoping to one day learn to embrace the skills needed to Jellatio!
- Bonus Tip For Your Own Good (Coolness Rating 0)
Trying to shoot the Jello shot by putting it on your head and hoping for the best will NOT work. The Jello shot will NOT absorb into your scalp and get you drunk. If you see others trying to attempt this feat, after taking several pictures and laughing really, really hard, please help them out and correct their actions. Not only is it the NICE thing to do, but you will be saving Jello shots from being wasted when they go back for more and try to do it again!
